MEN — Mental Performance (Part 2 of 2)

MEN-14 — BRAVE HANDS

Category

Courage under fire — moving toward the ball

Purpose

To train the willingness to step into a shot rather than away from it. Flinching is not a character flaw; it is a reflex, and every honest goalie has fought it. But the save is made by moving toward the ball with the hands leading, and a body that pulls away is a body that gets hit in places the pads do not cover. Brave Hands is the specific, gradual method for retraining that reflex. Courage here is a physical skill built in small steps, not a speech.

Equipment

Full gear — always full gear for this work, including a cup and a throat guard. Tennis balls, then soft lacrosse balls, then regular balls. A wall or a partner.

Space needed

A wall and about 10 yards, or a goal

Grade range

3–12

How to do it

The rule that governs all of it: you only move up a level when the current level is boring. Never sooner. Rushing this is how fear gets installed instead of removed.

Part 1 — The three-position drill (learn the movement with no threat)

1. Stand in your stance with no ball anywhere. Have a partner call "high stick side," "low off side," and so on.
2. On each call, drive your hands to the spot first and let your feet follow. Hands lead, body goes toward where the ball would be, chest stays square.
3. Twenty reps. This is the movement pattern with zero fear involved. Learn it here first.

Part 2 — The ladder (this is the core of the entry)

Work up this ladder one rung at a time. Twenty to fifty reps per rung, over days or weeks, until the rung is boring.

1. Tennis balls, tossed underhand from 10 yards, right at the stick.
2. Tennis balls, tossed to your hands and hips at varying spots.
3. Soft or low-compression lacrosse balls, tossed from 10 yards.
4. Soft balls, thrown at moderate pace, varying locations.
5. Regular balls, tossed underhand from 10 yards.
6. Regular balls, shot at 50 percent from 12 yards, called location.
7. Regular balls, 75 percent, called location.
8. Regular balls, game pace, no call.

On every single rep, at every rung, do the same three things: - Eyes open through contact. This is the one that decides everything. - Hands move to the ball, not to your body. - Chest and body step toward the line of the ball, not away from it.

Part 3 — The eyes-open check

Have a partner stand behind the shooter and hold up a number of fingers at the moment of release. Call the number out loud after each shot. If you can report the number, your eyes stayed open. If you cannot, drop back a rung on the ladder. This is a check, not a test to pass.

Part 4 — After a hit

Getting hit somewhere it stings is part of this position and it will happen.

1. Take the time you need. Shake it out. Breathe out slowly.
2. Take the next rep at a lower rung than the one you were on. Not the same rung, and not off the field entirely. One rung back, a few easy reps, then finish the session on a rep you handled well.
3. Log it in the Save Journal, MEN-06 — what happened and what rung you finished on.
4. If a hit was to the head or neck, or if anything hurts beyond a sting, stop and tell an adult immediately. No exceptions and no toughing it out. Brave has nothing to do with hiding an injury.

Coaching cues - "Hands to the ball, body to the ball, eyes open." - "Move the ladder when it is boring, not when you are impatient." - "Brave is a skill, and skills are built in small steps." - "Flinching is a reflex. We are retraining a reflex, not fixing a personality." - "Full gear, every time, no exceptions."

Common mistakes - Skipping rungs to prove something. This is how a goalie develops a flinch that takes a season to undo. - Turning the head or closing the eyes at contact. Everything else is downstream of this. - Hands moving to protect the body instead of to the ball. - Training this without full gear "because they are only tennis balls." Full gear every time — it is also how the body learns it is protected. - Coaches or parents shooting hard to "toughen someone up." This does the opposite and it does lasting damage. The ladder exists precisely so nobody has to do this. - Ending a session on a rep that scared you. Always finish on a good one.

Progressions and regressions - Grades 3–4: rungs 1 and 2 only — tennis balls, underhand, at the stick, in full gear. Make it a game and keep it light. That is the entire brave-hands curriculum at this age. - Grades 5–6: rungs 1 through 5. Introduce the eyes-open check. - Grades 7–8: rungs 1 through 7. Add bounce shots at each rung, since those provoke the most flinching. - Grades 9–10: full ladder including game pace with no call. Add traffic — a teammate screening in front — and add a fatigue version at the end of a session. - Grades 11–12: full ladder plus point-blank work, deflections, and shots through screens. Add the leadership version: coaching a younger goalie up their own ladder. - Regression at any grade, any time: drop two rungs and rebuild. Dropping down is a normal training decision, not a setback. Every goalie does it after a bad hit.

How to measure it - Highest boring rung: which rung can you run for fifty reps without any flinch? That number is your Brave Hands score. Retest at each of the four testing weeks. - Eyes-open percentage: run the finger check for twenty shots. How many numbers did you call correctly? Target 18 or better before moving up a rung. - Film check: film ten shots from the side. Count how many times your head or body moved away from the line of the ball. Zero is the target; film is honest in a way that feelings are not. - The recovery measure: after a hit, how many reps until you were back at your normal rung? Log it. This number shrinks over years and it is one of the best long-term markers in the whole library.

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MEN-15 — LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION

Category

Talking to your defense — the goalie's second job

Purpose

To turn the goalie into the voice that organizes the defense. You see the entire field; five defenders do not. That view is useless if it stays in your head. This entry gives you the actual words, the volume, and the timing — because "communicate more" is not coaching, it is a complaint. A goalie who talks well makes their defense measurably better, and that is worth more than any individual save.

Equipment

None. A field, a defense, or a wall and a willingness to feel silly practicing out loud.

Space needed

A field for the live versions; anywhere for the practice versions

Grade range

5–12

How to do it

Part 1 — The four calls that cover most of the game

Learn these four first. They are short, loud, and repeatable.

1. Ball location. "Ball's up top." "Ball's behind." "Ball right wing." Say it every time the ball changes areas. This is the highest-volume call you make and the most useful.
2. Pressure. "Get on him." "Push him out." "Take away the roll." Tells one defender what to do right now.
3. Slide. "Slide!" and then who — "Slide's coming from the crease." "Two slide." Loudest call you own.
4. Danger. "Man behind you." "Crease, crease." "Cutter left." Warns a defender about something they cannot see.

The formula for every call: WHO — WHAT — WHERE. "Jake — push him — right side." Name first, because a defender does not react until they know it is for them.

Part 2 — The four rules of how you say it

1. Short. Three to five words. A sentence is too long to be useful during a play.
2. Loud. Louder than feels natural. Through a helmet, across a field, over a crowd — your normal talking voice does not exist. If you are not slightly hoarse after a game as a younger athlete, you were not loud enough.
3. Early. A call that arrives at the same time as the cutter is decoration. Call what is developing, not what has happened.
4. Calm in tone, urgent in content. You can shout "man behind you" without sounding panicked. Panic in your voice spreads to five people instantly. Whatever your voice does, the defense does.

Part 3 — Practice it (this is what almost nobody does)

1. Wall practice: while doing wall ball, make one call out loud on every fifth rep. It feels ridiculous and it builds the reflex.
2. Film practice: watch any game film, pause at random, and say out loud the call you would make right now. Ten pauses, three minutes.
3. Names first: learn every defender's name and use it in every call. In the first week with a new team, this is your single highest-value action.
4. The pre-practice reps: before every team practice, tell yourself one call you will make ten times today. One call. Ten times.

Part 4 — Talking between plays

1. After a good defensive play, name it. "Great slide, Jake." Specific praise, using a name. Defenders remember it and play harder in front of you.
2. After a goal, one sentence, forward-facing. "We're good. Push them out next time." Never blame. A goalie who blames the defense loses the defense permanently, and it takes a season to get back.
3. In a timeout, one instruction, not five.

Coaching cues - "Who, what, where." - "Short, loud, early, calm." - "Names first — nobody reacts to 'hey.'" - "Your voice sets the temperature of the whole defense." - "Praise loud and specific. Correct short and private."

Common mistakes - Going quiet when the game is going badly, which is exactly when the defense needs the voice most. - Calling too late — narrating what already happened. - Long sentences. Nobody processes eleven words during a slide. - Blaming. Once, and you have lost them. - Not learning names. - Practicing zero times and expecting to be a vocal leader on Saturday. This is a trained skill, not a personality trait — quiet people become excellent goalie communicators all the time, because it is technique.

Progressions and regressions - Grades 5–6: two calls only — ball location and "slide." Loud. That is the whole assignment for two years. - Grades 7–8: all four calls, plus names on every call. Start the wall-ball talking practice. - Grades 9–10: add pre-play organization — setting the defense before the whistle, calling out matchups, identifying the other team's best shooter out loud. Add man-down communication. - Grades 11–12: add full leadership range — talking to a defense that is unraveling, coaching a younger defender mid-game, running a huddle, and speaking to a referee respectfully. Add the between-quarters address. Feed all of it into the Leadership Ledger, MEN-16. - Regression: if talking feels impossible, commit to one call — ball location — and nothing else, every possession, for two weeks. Volume of one simple call builds the habit faster than variety.

How to measure it - Call count: have a parent or coach tally your calls in one quarter. Grades 9–12 target 40 or more per quarter. Most goalies guess far higher than their real number. - The name test: what percentage of your calls included a name? Film a quarter and count. Target 80 percent or better. - The volume check: ask a defender after a game whether they could hear you clearly at the far end of the defense. Ask directly and believe the answer. - The timing audit: on film, mark each call as early, on time, or late. Early is the target and late is the most common finding. - The defense test (grades 9–12): ask two defenders each month what one thing would help them more from you. Their answer is more useful than any self-assessment.

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MEN-16 — THE LEADERSHIP LEDGER

Category

Leadership tracking — measuring the part of your game with no stat line

Purpose

To make leadership countable. Save percentage gets tracked automatically; the things that actually make a goalie a captain do not. The Ledger is a one-page weekly record of the leadership actions you took, so that "be more of a leader" turns into a set of specific behaviors you either did or did not do this week. It is also the single most useful document to bring to a coach or a college conversation.

Equipment

A page at the back of the Save Journal, MEN-06, or a simple spreadsheet

Space needed

None

Grade range

8–12

How to do it

Part 1 — Set the page up once

Make five rows. These are the five categories, and they do not change:

1. Voice — did I organize the defense, every practice and every game?
2. Lift — did I specifically encourage a teammate who needed it?
3. Standard — did I do the unglamorous thing when nobody would have noticed? First to warm-ups, last off, gear picked up, full effort on a drill I dislike.
4. Teach — did I help a younger or newer player with something?
5. Own — did I take responsibility for something that was mine, out loud, without excuses?

Part 2 — Fill it in every Sunday (five minutes)

1. For each of the five rows, write one specific thing you did this week. Specific means a name and a moment: "Told Marcus his slide timing was better on Wednesday." Not "was a good teammate."
2. If a row is empty, leave it empty. An honest blank is the entire value of this tool. A ledger where every row is always full is a ledger that is lying.
3. Circle the emptiest row. That is next week's leadership focus. One row, one week.
4. Write one sentence: what will I do next week, specifically, in that category? With a name in it if possible.

Part 3 — The monthly read

Once a month, read the whole page.

1. Which category is consistently full? That is your natural leadership strength — lean into it and name it out loud when someone asks what kind of leader you are.
2. Which is consistently empty? That is the growth area, and it is almost never the one you would have guessed.
3. Bring the page to your coach once a season. Ask one question: "Which of these five would help this team most from me?" Then work on that one.

A note on what leadership is not Leadership is not being the loudest person in the locker room, and it is not never being frustrated. It is being reliable in the five rows above, especially on the days you do not feel like it. Quiet athletes fill this ledger all the time.

Coaching cues - "Five rows, five minutes, every Sunday." - "A name and a moment, or it does not count." - "The empty row is the useful one." - "Circle one row. Work on one row." - "Leadership is a set of behaviors, not a personality type."

Common mistakes - Writing vague entries. "Was positive" is not an entry. - Filling every row every week regardless of truth. The ledger becomes worthless the moment it becomes a performance. - Working on all five categories at once. One row per week. - Only counting the Voice row because it is the most visible. Teach and Lift usually matter more to a team over a season. - Keeping it secret from your coach. The one-question conversation is where most of the value is. - Starting it in ninth grade because someone said to. Start it when you are genuinely ready to be honest on the page — this is a grades 8–12 tool for a reason.

Progressions and regressions - Grade 8: three rows only — Voice, Lift, Standard. Fill it in with a parent or coach for the first month. - Grades 9–10: all five rows, weekly, athlete-owned. Add the monthly read and one coach conversation per season. - Grades 11–12: add a sixth row — Culture — for things that outlast you: a standard you set, a routine you started, a younger goalie you developed. Add a season-end summary that becomes part of a captain's application, a recruiting profile, or a college interview answer. - Regression: if five rows is too much, do Voice and Lift only. Two honest rows beat five invented ones.

How to measure it - Fill rate: rows filled divided by rows available across a month. Target 60 to 80 percent. A 100 percent fill rate is a warning sign, not a success — nobody does all five things every week. - Balance: count entries per category over a season. A goalie strong in one row and empty in three has a clear, actionable plan for next season. - The follow-through check: did last week's circled row get filled this week? That yes-rate is the real measure of whether the ledger changes behavior. - The outside check: once a season, ask two teammates and one coach which of the five categories they see from you most. Compare it to your page. The gap is the most useful information the tool produces.

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MEN-17 — THE BRAIN DUMP

Category

Stress toolkit — emptying a full head onto paper

Purpose

To get everything you are carrying out of your head and onto a page, so your mind can stop rehearsing it. A racing mind at bedtime is usually a mind trying to keep track of too many open items at once. Writing them down releases the tracking job. This is the tool for the Sunday night before a heavy week, the night before a game plus a test, and any evening where sleep will not come.

Equipment

Paper and a pen. Paper, specifically — not a phone. The phone brings its own load with it.

Space needed

A table or a bed

Grade range

5–12

How to do it

The ten-minute version

1. Set a timer for five minutes. Write down every single thing in your head. School, lacrosse, friends, family, the thing you said that you are still thinking about, the assignment you forgot, the game on Saturday. No order, no grammar, no judgment about whether something belongs. If it is in your head, it goes on the page.
2. Keep the pen moving. If you get stuck, write "stuck, stuck, stuck" until the next thing comes. Do not stop until the timer does.
3. Now sort it into three columns. Redraw the list into:
4. DO — things I can act on. Anything under two minutes, do it right now.
5. DECIDE — things that need a decision or a conversation. Write who you need to talk to next to each.
6. DROP — things I cannot control at all. Weather, other people's opinions, what already happened, who else is in the goalie rotation. Draw a literal line through each one as you sort it. The physical crossing-out matters.
7. Pick exactly three things from DO for tomorrow. Three. Write them on a separate small piece of paper. That paper is tomorrow's plan.
8. Close the notebook and put it away. Say: "It is on the page. It does not need to be in my head."
9. If it is bedtime, follow with four rounds of Box Breathing, MEN-02.

When to do it - Sunday evening before a heavy week. - Any night your mind will not shut off. - The night before a game that has a test or a project stacked next to it. - Any time you notice you are re-thinking the same thing for the fourth time.

When the page tells you something bigger Sometimes the dump makes it obvious that the load is genuinely too big — not disorganized, just too much. That is real information, and the right response is to show the page to a parent, a coach, or a school counselor and ask for help sorting it. Adults are considerably better at rearranging a schedule than a 15-year-old is, and they cannot help with a load they do not know about. Asking is the skill here, not enduring.

Coaching cues - "Everything out, then sort." - "Do, decide, drop." - "Cross out the drops with an actual line." - "Three things for tomorrow. Only three." - "It is on the page. It does not need to be in my head." - "If the page looks like too much for one person, show it to one."

Common mistakes - Trying to organize while dumping. Dump first, sort second. Mixing them stops the flow and defeats the purpose. - Doing it on a phone. The phone hands you three new inputs while you are trying to empty out. - Skipping the sort. An un-sorted dump can leave you feeling worse — the sort is what converts a pile into a plan. - Putting twelve things on tomorrow's list. Three. - Leaving DROP items uncrossed. Cross them out physically. - Only doing it in crisis. It works better as a Sunday habit than an emergency measure.

Progressions and regressions - Grades 5–6: three-minute dump, and a parent helps with the sorting. Two things for tomorrow instead of three. - Grades 7–8: the full ten-minute version, athlete-led. Add it to the Sunday routine. - Grades 9–10: add a weekly version on Sunday plus emergency use, and add a DECIDE follow-through check — did you actually have the conversation you wrote down? - Grades 11–12: add a term-level version during recruiting season and exam periods, sorting across school, sport, and college process. Add a monthly review of what keeps reappearing in DROP, since recurring drops usually point to one real conversation worth having. - Regression: if a full dump feels like too much on a bad night, write three lines only — the three loudest things — then do Box Breathing.

How to measure it - Sleep latency: on nights you do a dump, do you fall asleep faster? Track a simple yes or no for two weeks in the Save Journal, MEN-06. - Drop percentage: what share of your list ended up in DROP? For most athletes it is 30 to 50 percent, and seeing that number is often the most useful part of the exercise. - The three-things rate: did tomorrow's three things actually get done? If the answer is regularly no, you are picking three items that are too big. - Recurrence: what item keeps showing up week after week without moving? That one needs a conversation, not another dump.

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MEN-18 — THE 10-MINUTE WALK

Category

Stress toolkit — the reset for an overloaded day

Purpose

To have one physical, no-equipment tool for the days when everything is stacked up. Walking changes your body state, changes your surroundings, and moves your eyes across a wide horizon, which is measurably calming. It is deliberately the simplest entry in this library and it is used more than almost any other. This is not a workout. Do not turn it into one.

Equipment

Shoes. Nothing else. No phone in your hand.

Space needed

A sidewalk, a field, a track, a hallway, a backyard loop

Grade range

3–12

How to do it

1. Leave the phone behind, or put it in your pocket on silent. If you need it for safety, that is fine — it stays in the pocket. No music, no podcast, no scrolling for the first five minutes at minimum. The point is fewer inputs, not different ones.
2. Walk for ten minutes. Any direction. Easy pace — you should be able to talk comfortably the whole way. This is not conditioning.
3. First three minutes: just walk. Do not try to solve anything. Let your head be as loud as it wants to be. It settles on its own, and trying to force it settles nothing.
4. Middle four minutes: use your eyes. Look up and out at the widest thing you can see — the end of the street, the tree line, the sky. A wide gaze physically lowers arousal, which is the opposite of what a phone screen does. Name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can feel. Slowly.
5. Last three minutes: pick one thing. One thing you will do when you get back. One. Say it out loud.
6. Come home and do that one thing.

When to use it - After a hard day at school, before homework. - After a rough practice, before you talk to anyone about it. - During the 2-to-12 hour window of The 24-Hour Rule, MEN-11. - When you are stuck on a decision, an assignment, or an argument. - Anytime you notice you have been staring at a screen for an hour and feel worse than when you started. - On a rest day, as the entire physical content of the day. A Sunday walk counts as recovery, not as skipping training.

Coaching cues - "Ten minutes, no phone, eyes up." - "Easy pace. This is not conditioning." - "Do not solve anything in the first three minutes." - "Look at the farthest thing you can see." - "Come back with one thing, not a plan."

Common mistakes - Bringing headphones and scrolling. Then it is a walk with the same load attached. - Walking fast and turning it into a workout. Slow is the mechanism. - Trying to force problem-solving from the first step. The useful thinking shows up around minute six, and only if you did not chase it. - Skipping it because ten minutes seems too small to matter. It is small on purpose, which is why it actually gets done. - Coming back with a fifteen-item plan. One thing. - Doing it once and dismissing it. Try it on ten hard days before deciding.

Progressions and regressions - Grades 3–5: five minutes, with a parent, no phone. Play the five-four-three noticing game out loud together. - Grades 6–8: ten minutes alone, in a familiar and safe area agreed with a parent. - Grades 9–10: add a walk before homework on stacked days and a walk into the 24-Hour Rule window after tough games. Add a partner version with a teammate where the rule is no lacrosse talk for the first five minutes. - Grades 11–12: extend to fifteen or twenty minutes during exam and recruiting periods. Add a pre-game version for road games — a slow walk around an unfamiliar field, which also familiarizes you with the venue. - Regression: three minutes around the outside of the house. Still counts.

How to measure it - The before-and-after rating: rate how overloaded you feel, 1 to 10, before and after. Log both in the Save Journal, MEN-06. Most athletes see a two- to three-point drop, and seeing your own number is what makes you use it again. - Walk count: how many walks this week? On heavy weeks, more is better, and three or more is a good target during exam season. - The one-thing follow-through: did you do the one thing when you got back? That yes-rate tells you whether the walk is producing action or just passing time. - The pattern check: if you are needing daily walks and still feel underwater by Friday, that is not a walking problem. Run The Load Check, MEN-19, and talk to a trusted adult.

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MEN-19 — THE LOAD CHECK

Category

Wellbeing self-audit — knowing when to push and when to back off

Purpose

To check your training and life load on purpose, once a week, using questions instead of guesswork. Athletes are famously bad at judging their own load in the moment: on a hard week everything feels like too much, and on an exciting week nothing does. Five fixed questions with a simple score make the trend visible before it turns into an injury, an illness, or a season you stop enjoying. This entry exists to protect the athlete, not to optimize them.

Equipment

The Save Journal, MEN-06

Space needed

None

Grade range

6–12

How to do it

Every Sunday, answer these five questions. Score each 1 to 5, where 1 is poor and 5 is great. Two minutes.

1. Sleep. Did I get enough hours, most nights, and wake up feeling rested? (Grades 6–8 need roughly 9 to 11 hours; grades 9–12 roughly 8 to 10. Most athletes reading this are getting less, and sleep is the highest-value recovery tool that exists.)
2. Fuel. Did I eat regular meals with breakfast every day, and did I eat enough on hard training days? More on hard days, not less. Score this on consistency and adequacy only — never on restriction, never on weight, never on how you think your body looks. If food ever feels like something you are fighting with, that is a conversation for a parent or a doctor, not a number on this page.
3. Body. How does my body feel? Any pain that has lasted more than three days? Anything I am hiding from a coach? (Any yes here means tell an adult this week. Not next week.)
4. Mood and motivation. Do I still want to go to practice? Am I enjoying it? A dropping motivation score for three weeks running is one of the most reliable early signals of overload there is.
5. Life load. School, family, friends, everything else. How full is the rest of the week?

Then act on the total. This is the part that matters — a score you do nothing with is just a number.

• 20 to 25: Green. Full training as written. Good week to push volume or add a progression.
• 14 to 19: Yellow. Train, but take the lower end of every prescribed range and add an extra rest day if two scores are 2s. Prioritize sleep this week over extra volume.
• Below 14: Red. Back off on purpose this week. Cut session volume by roughly half, keep the fun parts, drop the grind parts, sleep more, eat normally, and tell a parent and a coach where you are at. Backing off from a red week is a training decision made by good athletes, not a failure of toughness. Every serious athlete has red weeks.

Two rules that override the score - Any pain lasting more than three days, any head contact, or any injury you have been hiding gets reported to an adult immediately, regardless of the total. - If question 4 has been low for a month, or if you have stopped looking forward to anything, talk to a parent, a coach, or a school counselor. That is beyond what a self-audit is designed to handle, and it is exactly the kind of thing adults are there for.

Coaching cues - "Five questions, two minutes, every Sunday." - "Green push, yellow steady, red back off." - "Fuel more on hard days, never less." - "Backing off on a red week is what smart athletes do." - "Anything you are hiding from your coach is the thing to say out loud this week."

Common mistakes - Scoring how you wish you were instead of how you are. An honest 2 is worth more than a proud 4. - Ignoring a red week and pushing anyway. This is how a manageable week becomes six weeks of injury. - Using the fuel question as a place to judge eating or body size. It measures adequacy and consistency, nothing else. - Hiding a nagging pain because a big game is coming. Tell an adult. - Skipping the check on the weeks it would matter most — the busy ones. - Doing the check and changing nothing. The action is the entry, not the score.

Progressions and regressions - Grades 6–8: three questions only — sleep, body, and "do I still want to go to practice?" A parent does it with the athlete, out loud, on Sunday. - Grades 9–10: all five questions, athlete-scored, with the total logged in the journal so a trend line builds across the season. - Grades 11–12: add a sixth question for college-process load during recruiting season, and add a month-over-month trend review. Share the trend with a coach or athletic trainer once a season. - Regression: on a week when even five questions feels like too much, answer one: "Am I okay?" Then act on the answer, including telling someone.

How to measure it - The weekly total, tracked across the grade year. The trend is the information; a single week is noise. - Lowest recurring category. Which question scores lowest most often? That is your actual limiting factor, and for most athletes it is sleep. - Red-week response rate: how many of your red weeks did you actually back off in? If that number is low, this tool is not yet doing its job. - The honesty audit: twice a year, have a parent score you on the same five questions independently and compare. The gaps are informative for both of you.

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MEN-20 — THE COMPASS

Category

Identity and purpose — why you play

Purpose

To write down, in your own words, why you play and what kind of goalie you are trying to be — and to use that page as a decision-making tool when things get complicated. Late high school brings real crossroads: club versus school, a position change, a coach you clash with, a college decision, an injury, or a season where it stops being fun. A goalie with a written Compass makes those decisions from their own values. A goalie without one makes them from whoever spoke last.

Equipment

Paper and a pen. One page. Written by hand.

Space needed

A quiet table and an hour

Grade range

7–12

How to do it

Part 1 — Write it (one hour, once a year, in the off-season)

Answer these five prompts in your own handwriting. Sentences, not bullet points. Nobody else needs to read it.

1. Why do I play this position? Not why you started — why you keep going. Be honest even if the honest answer is small. "Because I like being the one it depends on" is a real answer. So is "because my friends are here."
2. What kind of goalie am I trying to be? Three words, then a sentence explaining each. Not statistics — character. Examples: "Loud. Steady. Brave."
3. What kind of teammate am I trying to be? Same format. Cross-check it against the Leadership Ledger, MEN-16, if you keep one.
4. What is this actually for? What do you want out of the next few years — college lacrosse, a great high school experience, friendships, the discipline itself? All of these are legitimate answers, and being honest here is what makes the page useful later. A page that says "college lacrosse" when you really mean "I love Saturdays with my friends" will steer you wrong at exactly the wrong moment.
5. What would I want to be true at my last game? One paragraph. What do you want your teammates to say about you? What do you want to know about yourself?

Then sign and date it. Fold it into the back of the Save Journal, MEN-06.

Part 2 — Use it (this is the actual point)

At any crossroads, take out the page before you take advice.

1. Read it, all five answers, slowly.
2. Write the decision at the top of a fresh page.
3. Under it, write: "Which option is more like the goalie and teammate I said I want to be?" Answer in writing.
4. Then go get advice — a parent, a coach, a mentor. Bring the page. Say what you already think. The order matters enormously: your Compass first, then other people's input. Reversed, you will spend years chasing someone else's plan.
5. Make the decision. Write down why, in one sentence, on the Compass page.

Part 3 — Rewrite it every year

1. In the off-season, read last year's page before writing a new one.
2. The changes between versions tell you who you are becoming. Keep every old version.
3. If your answers change, that is normal and it is not disloyalty. A 7th grader who plays because it is fun and a 12th grader who plays because of who it made them are both correct.

A note on the hard version Sometimes the honest answer to prompt 1 is "I am not sure I want to keep doing this." That is a legitimate thing to write down and it is not a betrayal of anyone. Write it, sit with it, and then talk to a parent or a coach about it — out loud, with a real person. Burnout, a bad situation, and a genuine change of interest are three different things, and they need three different responses. You will not sort out which one it is alone at 11pm.

Coaching cues - "Handwritten, one page, signed and dated." - "Compass first, advice second." - "Three words for the goalie, three words for the teammate." - "Keep every version." - "If you cannot answer prompt 1 honestly, that is the most important thing on the page."

Common mistakes - Writing what a coach, a parent, or a recruiter would want to read. A dishonest Compass is worse than none, because it steers confidently in the wrong direction. - Making it long. One page. A five-page manifesto never gets reread. - Typing it. Handwriting matters here — it slows you down enough to be honest. - Writing it once and never using it. The value is entirely in Part 2. - Taking advice first and then checking the page. That is not a compass, that is a rubber stamp. - Treating a change in answers as failure.

Progressions and regressions - Grades 7–8: prompts 1 and 2 only, short answers, ideally written with a parent nearby but not directing the answers. - Grades 9–10: all five prompts. Use it for at least one real decision — club team choice, a schedule conflict, a position question. - Grades 11–12: full version, rewritten each off-season, used explicitly for the college decision. Answers from prompts 2, 3, and 5 become the honest core of college interviews and coach conversations, which is a considerable practical advantage — most recruits have never thought about it at all. - Regression: if a full page is too much, answer prompt 1 in three sentences. That alone is worth the hour.

How to measure it - Does it exist, is it signed, and is it dated? Yes or no. Most athletes never write one. - Use count: how many real decisions did you run through it this year? Grades 11–12 target two or more. - The read test: read it after a bad game. Does it still hold? A Compass that only makes sense after wins needs rewriting. - The year-over-year comparison: read all versions each off-season. What changed and what stayed? The parts that never change are your actual values, and knowing them is the whole point.

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© LAX Goalie Hub — MEN Mental Performance Library, v2. Entries MEN-01 through MEN-20.